What we all need... BOUNDARIES
I have been in therapy since I was 10 and started practicing therapy at 25. Despite the fact that I am now forty, I am still working to establish and understand boundaries. They sound easy, but are so damn hard. Life is a work in progress, and for many, true and healthy boundaries are incredibly difficult.
Boundaries are guidelines, rules, or limits that a person creates to identify reasonable, safe, and permissible ways for others to behave towards them. Easy right? WRONG! They are so much more complicated. In reality what boundaries actually are is how YOU will respond when (not if) someone crosses those limits. They are essential in relationships for several reasons:
Self-protection: Boundaries help protect your physical, emotional, and mental well-being by defining what is acceptable and what is not in your interactions with others.
Respect: Setting boundaries communicates to others how you expect to be treated, fostering mutual respect in relationships. In short, you teach people how to treat you.
Healthy communication: Clear boundaries promote open and honest communication, as they provide a framework for discussing needs, expectations, and concerns.
Maintaining individuality: Boundaries allow individuals to maintain their autonomy and identity within relationships, preventing them from feeling overwhelmed or engulfed by others' needs and expectations.
Preserving relationships: Healthy boundaries help prevent resentment, conflict, and misunderstandings, contributing to the longevity and quality of relationships.
Overall, boundaries are essential for establishing healthy, respectful, and fulfilling relationships where individuals feel safe, valued, and understood.
Setting boundaries can be difficult for several reasons:
Fear of rejection: People may worry that setting boundaries will lead to conflict or pushback from others, causing them to avoid setting boundaries altogether.
Guilt or self-doubt: Individuals may feel guilty for asserting their needs or worry that they are being selfish by setting boundaries.
Lack of assertiveness skills: Some people may not have learned how to assert themselves effectively, making it challenging to communicate their boundaries clearly and confidently.
Desire to please others: Many individuals prioritize others' needs over their own, leading them to neglect setting boundaries in order to maintain harmony in their relationships.
Therapy can help with setting boundaries by:
Identifying and understanding boundaries: Therapy can help individuals recognize unhealthy patterns in their relationships and understand the importance of setting boundaries for their well-being.
Developing communication skills: Therapists can teach assertiveness techniques and effective communication strategies to help individuals express their boundaries in a clear and respectful manner.
Building self-esteem: Therapy can address underlying issues such as low self-esteem or fear of rejection, empowering individuals to assert their needs and boundaries confidently.
Role-playing and practice: Therapists may engage in role-playing exercises or provide opportunities for clients to practice setting boundaries in a safe and supportive environment.
At NUTURE we understand the importance of boundaries and believe that therapy can provide the guidance, support, and tools necessary for individuals to overcome barriers and establish healthy boundaries in relationships.
Lauren Peabody & The Nurture Family